Healthy relationships are important to God. Moreover, how we communicate with and to others is as equally important to God.
'Speak the truth in love'. Loves motivation isn't engineered with the intent to injure people, but to help them to make a decision to turn from the way of destruction and evil into the Way of truth and righteousness.
Love [on every level and in every degree] is patient and is kind. Love isn't jealous; love does not brag and love isn't arrogant. Love isn't rude, it is not self-absorbed, nor is love easily angered. Love keeps no records of wrong. It does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails [never fades or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. (1Corinthians 13:4-8.)
Loves response in verbiage and conduct must be present in our relationships and how we communicate with others and to others. Sound health in our relationships is the fruit of love which is a fruit of the [Holy] Spirit. Love was present in every relationship Jesus possessed with people, from family, to His disciples, to the church, and, also non-believers both Jews and Gentiles. The love of God isn't prejudice (Romans 2:11). He loves everyone with an everlasting love.
So, communicating in love should always bring about some level of reconciliation without prejudice, because we are those who follow in the ways of Jesus. Right? Our lips should feed many (Proverbs 10:21). There should not be an empty vessel in which we pour out of, if God is our source.
God has given us the ministry of reconciliation. We are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us [to all humanity]... (2Corinthians 5:18, 20). That ministry includes our families, neighbors, the poor, the widow, the orphan, sinners and those in the body of Christ. If we say we love God, then we have to love everybody.
Often times, there is a lack of reconciliation, because there is a lack of love from either the giver or the recipient, and in some cases both parties. However, the Holy Spirit, our helper, will help us to communicate in a way in which what we say and how we say it conveys and displays God's love without offense to the recipient.
In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifested: Whoever does not [regularly] practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother [or sister]. For this is the message you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another (1John 3:10-11).
The Relational Jesus
Did you know that Jesus was relational. Everything Jesus did was based around relationships. Yes, that's right, Jesus had a fruitful social life. He wasn't isolated from society. He knew how to engage with everyone without ever sinning.
You see I can hold a conversation with you without ever pursing a relationship with you. Jesus touched many but embraced few. Wow! What a revelation. There's a healthy way to socialize in order to maintain our purity in the Lord and in our relationships and interactions with others who may not live a Christian lifestyle like us.
The Bible says,
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers [do not make mismated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and Belial [the devil]? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? What agreement [can there be between] a temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God; even as God said, I will dwell in and with and among them and will walk in and with and among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. So come out from among [unbelievers], and separate (sever) yourselves from them, says the Lord, and touch not [any] unclean thing; then I will receive you kindly and treat you with favor, and I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty (2Corinthians 6:14-18/ Amplified Version)."
Jesus openly, unapologetically expressed His stance on the issue of sin, while displaying love for God the Father and all people. Jesus was always interacting and connecting with people of all ages and from all stages of life. Everyone wasn't like Him, but after they encountered Jesus, many wanted to be just like Him. Asking, "What must I do to follow You?"
Jesus prerequisites are clear,
"If anyone desires to come after Me, let him or her deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow Me (Luke 9:23)." Now great multitudes went with Him, and He turned and said to them, "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his or her [own] father and mother [in the sense of indifference to or relative disregard for them in comparison with his or her attitude toward God] and [likewise] wife [husband] and children, brothers and sisters-- [yes] even his or her own life also--he or she cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not persevere and carry his own cross and come after (follow) Me cannot be My disciple (Luke 14:26-27)."
God's will is that no one perish, and so through Christ, we are offered a relationship worth having and cultivating. When we accept Jesus, we are accepting the Father. Jesus is the way to the Father. Therefore, when we enter into a relationship with Jesus, we enter into a covenant relationship with the Father. That's why the Scripture encourages us to
fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners) that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it] (Hebrews 4:16 /Amplified Version.
Isn't that good? Healthy relationships come through. We make ourselves available, taking into consideration the well-being of others; cheering for them and helping in any way we can, looking out for their well being (Philippians 2:4). That's not saying we're not important, we're just willing to put the needs of others first
in a healthy, helpful way. If we put others first, God will touch someone's heart to consider us first. Amen.
Jesus was always putting others first. He possessed a servants heart in all His relationships. He was always serving the needs of others, and did it with the right heart and attitude. It is healthy and well pleasing to God when we serve others in the right heart and with a good attitude like Christ.
Are you willing to serve or just be served? God wants to know and He will put each of us to the test. He is a discerner of hearts, and He's checking and probing ours. Hum... what do you think about that?
The next time you consider entering into a relationship with someone, ask yourself why am I really pursing this relationship with this person? Is it to serve them with good intentions? Or is to serve or be served with all the wrong intentions in mind? If so, check those sinful motivations and ask God to wash your heart of selfish intentions and fill it with healthy servitude and love for that person or persons.
David said,
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way of everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24)." It's healthy to examine our reasons for pursuing people and relationships with them. I am not telling you not to pursue relationships, just pursue with righteous motives in your heart and maintain a pure motive and proper balance. Our pursuits should never lead us away from God into hell. If they do, we must refrain from pursuing them any further, immediately.
Jesus did not hang out with Pharisees (religious folks) either? Why? Because many of them were unhealthy in their appetites, perspectives, relationships, approach to the Scriptures, how they saw God and people outside of their religious cliques. The sad thing was even when confronted by the WORD with the written Word of God, they still refused to change how they thought, lived or communicated in regards to what Jesus revealed. They were down right hypocrites (overly critical of others sins while they themselves refused to wash their own hearts and minds of sins with the Word of God).
Let me ask you a serious question: Would you like a hypocrite for a friend? Or are you a hypocrite suffocating your relationships with your religious hypocrisies? Jesus warned us not to be in relationship with these type of 'church folk'. But why? Pharisees or people with a Pharisee attitude and tendencies corrupt and deprave good manners, morals and character. However, being in right relationship with Jesus and Christlike people transforms and drastically improves our manners, morals and behaviors.
Choosing Covenant Relationships
Jesus picked His closes followers and friends using three components that we too must utilize when choosing our closes relationships:
(Matthew 26, Luke 6:12-16; John 15:9-17; chapters 18 & 19.)
If someone is going to be in your life and be your friend, their purpose for being there must align to God's will and plan for your life. Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus close, covenant friends, betrayed Jesus for money but even deeper, because he doubted. Have you ever betrayed someone close to you? We all have. Judas betraying Jesus was God's will though. If Judas Iscariot never betrayed Jesus there would be no sacrifice for sins.
It had to happen. Betrayal was inevitable. Jesus wasn't shocked when Judas betrayed Him. Prayer unto God prepared Jesus for Judas' purpose and role in His life and ultimately His sacrifice to redeem man from sin and eternal death. One man's plot to destroy a life, was God's opportunity to introduce His plan to redeem lives from the power of betrayal and sin. I love that! Isn't that good?
Jesus never reacted or retaliated in His flesh against Judas when He was betrayed. My God I have a long ways to go. Sorry. I just had a personal moment of reflection, but I am getting there. Praise God!
Okay, so the take away from this is, all of our relationships should always be centered around Christ and the will of God. They should bring glory to God. Christ relationships, even the betrayal of a close friend, brought glory to God and advanced the will of God forward in the earth. Relationships should NEVER lead to regression always progression. Amen.
It is so important that we incorporate Philippians 4:8 in all our relationships and pursuits. ...Whatsoever is true, worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, pure, lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them] {in and when pursuing relationships}. Emphasis mine.
If how I relate in deed and word, even in my thoughts, does not meet this criteria, then I must without hesitation or questioning, refrain from it. Well, when I think about it, maybe we need to ask how our relationships and having certain conversations and interactions will bring glory to God and edification to our brother or sister or the person we are connecting with? You see, asking this question causes us to think before we act. It tracts our thoughts. It filters our words. Furthermore, we possess a greater level of awareness and accountability for our actions and expressions of communication and interactions.
The Good News
The good news is healthy relationships are attainable!!! We can be healed from poor choices in friendships and relationships with family, spouses, children, co-workers, and those in leadership over us. The first thing that must change is our
minds. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you locate glitches in choosing relationships. Then, confess your faults and ask Him to fill you with godly discernment and servant hood and the mind of Christ when pursuing and maintaining healthy relationships.
God wants you to prosper and be in good health even in your relationships, and He will help you maintain a right perspective and balance when engaging in godly relationships with people and also Him. I am going to seize this opportunity and say that if you don't know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior and friend, pursue Him and develop a close bond with Him through the redemptive power of grace. I am a witness; He's the greatest friend you could ever have! He's the One that sticks closer than a brother; a true Friend indeed; always shining in your darkest of nights. His hand guides you and His strong right arm upholds you.
[Huh...tear]. I love Him! You have to know Him to understand these tears. He's always there, ready to serve and uplift and push me ahead when I want to quit. I hear Him telling me to, "Keep going!"
He corrects me when I am wrong. Although it hurts when He corrects me, I know He only does so because He absolutely loves me and wants the best for me. And I have respect for that. I thank My dearest Friend for telling me the truth, truth that keeps me, motivates me to do better, live better, and love harder.
Trust me when I say that there is plenty of room for you in His circle and His family, if you will just come to Him. All you have to do is abandon your relationship with sin and fall into the arms of Jesus through repentance. Isn't that Good News? Absolutely, dear heart!
KINGDOM BUILDING UNITED
(Promoting the Good News of Jesus Christ around the globe)
